Does Everyone Get Social Anxiety?
Most people have some degree of nervousness when they’re about to enter an important social event or give a presentation. Typically, brief experiences of social-outing jitters doesn’t hold them back from enjoying their life or finding fulfillment in relationships. Social anxiety, on the other hand, is more serious and prolonged than the average person’s pre-event nerves.
Social Anxiety, also called Social Phobia, is characterized by persistent, intense anxiety and fear of situations in which you may be judged negatively. This can look like a preoccupation with what others think of you, intense self-consciousness and hyper-awareness, and fear of being embarrassed or scrutinized. There is also often a fear that others will notice their anxiety or discomfort, which would cause further embarrassment. People with social anxiety may begin to avoid triggering situations, which can cause meaningful limitations in their life and relationships.
Having social anxiety doesn’t mean that every social situation stresses you out. Social anxiety can be situation-specific or generalized across social situations. For example, some people may only experience social anxiety when they are interacting in their personal life but feel no heightened stress leading meetings or interacting in their work roles. Some high-achieving athletes with social anxiety have shared that they feel calm and comfortable performing in front of hundreds of thousands of spectators in their sport but become highly distressed and anxious when they have to engage socially outside of their sport.
Characteristics of Social Anxiety
Avoidance - Avoidance of anxiety-provoking situations, despite the impacts on personal relationships or job performance is a hallmark sign of social anxiety. This avoidance tends to make it difficult to meet new people and maintain meaningful connections.
Fear of judgment - Extreme worry or fear of being judged or embarrassed in social situations is another major sign. It’s normal to have passing thoughts or occasional worries about what people think of you; people with social anxiety may be preoccupied with worries, so much so that they are unable to enjoy themselves. They also tend to feel very anxious and vigilant about people noticing their anxiety or discomfort. This can lead to a cycle of anxiety causing even more anxiety.
Persistent anxiety - People struggling with social anxiety will experience prolonged, intense anxiety and fear, not just a fleeting moment of nervousness.
Performance anxiety - Situations in which they are performing, or just being observed can trigger heightened anxiety, especially if they perceive themselves to be the center of attention.
Irrational fear - Social anxiety is typically a level of fear that is disproportionate to the situation. For example, situations like meeting a new colleague, running an errand, or going to lunch with a friend might be highly triggering for someone with social anxiety.
While many people with social anxiety are aware that their anxiety is disproportionate to the situation, they may still struggle to control their worrying. High levels of social anxiety can severely impact one’s ability to function in social situations at work as well as in their personal life. Additionally, the fear of embarrassment or judgment often causes people with social anxiety to refrain from seeking help.
Just like other forms of anxiety, social anxiety can be debilitating with both mental and physical symptoms.
Common Signs of Social Anxiety:
Avoidance of social situations
Excessive worrying about embarrassing or humiliating yourself
Extreme self-consciousness and fear of judgment
Difficulty with appropriate eye contact
Intense fear of being judged
Catastrophizing or assuming the worst case scenarios
Nausea or upset stomach
Blushing, facial flushing, or redness
Sweating, shaking, or trembling
Racing heartbeat or increased heart rate
Shortness of breath or hyperventilation
Dizziness or light-headedness
What do I do if I think I have social anxiety?
Social anxiety is a very common mental health condition. The National Institute of Mental Health reports an estimated 12.1% of adults in the U.S. experience social anxiety at some point in their lives [NIMH]. If you find that your social anxiety (regardless of meeting clinical criteria) is impairing your ability to function or enjoy your life, it may be time to seek professional help. Social anxiety creates a cycle of worrying compounded by anxiety about the anxiety. Therapy for social anxiety can help you overcome your fear and start feeling empowered, successful, and connected in your social life.
Check out my resources page for some inspiration and guidance on how to create your own list of Affirmations for Anxiety.
If you’re interested in addressing your anxiety in therapy, reach out to set up a free 15-minute phone consultation to see if I’m the right therapist to help you.
About the Author: Sage Grazer, LCSW
I am a licensed psychotherapist providing online therapy to young professionals struggling with anxiety, burnout, trauma, loss, and relationship issues. I work with adults to help them develop the insight, skills, and resilience to cope with whatever life stresses come their way. I specialize in helping high-achieving women overcome anxiety and burnout to feel more confident, empowered, and effective in their lives. If you’re a resident of California or Hawaii, schedule a free consultation to learn more.